What Does Our Hatred of PDA

Tell Us About the Moment

We’re Living In?

我们对公然秀恩爱的憎恨揭示了些什么？

文章导读

欢迎来到卜菜英语每日晨读栏目，今天要给大家分享一篇关于在公共场合”秀恩爱“的文章。PDA指的是public display of affection，即“秀恩爱”。在明星报道中，我们经常看到一对对情侣秀恩爱的身影；在日常生活中，搂搂抱抱、社交平台上的卿卿我我也屡屡可见。但是，深陷爱情的人殊不知别人对此感到不快，甚至是恶心。还记得Timothée Chalamet和Lily-Rose Depp在卡普里岛的一艘游艇上被看到亲密动作时，每个看到此场景的人都仿佛在尖叫：“拜托，为什么要这样？”作者Daisy Jones想知道现代人对PDA的普遍厌恶是否与最近对浪漫爱情观的普遍抵制有关，人们是不是开始欣赏和崇尚柏拉图式爱情。

全文亮点

I wonder whether anybody has ever fantasised about tripping us, whether anyone has felt a sting of irritation and thought: Okay, but is that really necessary?

我想知道是否有人曾幻想过绊倒我们，是否有人感到愤怒并想：好吧，但这真的有必要吗？

If two people are groping each other on public transport at rush hour, it feels like a violation.

如果两个人在高峰时段在公共交通工具上互相抚摸，那感觉就像是一种侵犯。

It’s more that I’ve realized that I want an affectionate romantic life, one anchored in consensual touch and expressed with love.

更重要的是，我意识到我想要一种深情浪漫的生活，一种以双方自愿的接触为基础，用爱来表达的生活。

When I catch a couple against a lamppost in the rain, or notice a quick squeeze of a thigh on the bus, I don’t mind. Because really, what’s there to mind about?

当我在雨中看到一对情侣靠在灯柱上，或者在公交车上注意到情侣间掐大腿的动作时，我并不介意。因为真的，有什么好在意的？

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文章解读

PDA, or public displays of affection, is generally held to be cringe and annoying. This is true even — or maybe especially — when it comes to celebs. Remember when Timothée Chalamet and Lily-Rose Depp ardently made out on a yacht in Capri, and everyone was like, “Please, God, why?” Then there’s Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, who, since reuniting in 2021, have engaged in some heavy-handed PDA on the red carpet (and at Lakers games, and at family dinners at Nobu, and at Dunkin’ Donuts…) to the general outrage of Twitter.PDA，或公开示爱，通常被认为是令人尴尬和讨厌的。这是真的，甚至可能特别是当涉及到名人时。还记得蒂莫西·查拉梅（Timothée Chalamet）和莉莉·罗斯·德普（Lily Rose Depp）在卡普里的一艘游艇上公然热吻时，每个人都仿佛在一旁说，“拜托，你们为什么这样？”然后是本·阿弗莱克（ Ben Affleck ）和詹妮弗·洛佩兹（Jennifer Lopez），他们自2021年重聚以来，在红地毯上（在湖人队的比赛中，在诺布的家庭晚宴上，甚至在Dunkin’ Donuts店里……）更过分地展现了PDA，一度引起了推特群众的普遍愤怒。affection [əˈfekʃn]: n. 感情；喜爱；爱情e.g. Affection is desirable. Money is absolutely indispensable. (Becoming Jane)爱情令人神往，但金钱却是无论如何不可或缺的。（《成为简·奥斯汀》）cringe [krɪndʒ]: v./n./a. 畏缩（的）；怯退（的）；感到尴尬不安（的）；觉得难为情（的）e.g. That made me cringe. It was like, “what am I doing?” I was lost. (Chefs Table)这让我变得畏畏缩缩。就好像是在说“我在做什么？” 我很迷茫。（《主厨的餐桌》）heavy-handed [ˌhevi ˈhændɪd]: a. 缺乏同情心的；冷酷的；大手大脚的e.g. Your uncle is heavy-handed when he speaks to others about the heart. (Vikings)你叔叔跟别人谈心时，总是显得笨嘴拙舌。（《维京传奇》）‍放弃，言之尚早。我喜欢你，你也喜欢我。假如激进女性主义是个问题，解决那个问题就行了，即使它是过去没有过的问题，解决也易如反掌。我打定主意后默默地听着朋友们谈天说地，然后回家。豆瓣评分 7.7‍‍‍——《她厌男，她是我女友》闵智炯Still, despite knowing that plenty of people find PDA gruesome, I can’t help it. I like to be affectionate and — unless I’m in a less queer-friendly area — I often forget about my surroundings. I haven’t always been this way. Growing up, visible romance wasn’t normalized in my family. We were affectionate with each other in our own way, and plenty of us had partners, but there was a privateness and self-awareness about it. I wouldn’t have sprawled across my boyfriend or girlfriend on the sofa while watching TV with my family. I wouldn’t have given them a casual kiss on the cheek in the kitchen.尽管我知道很多人觉得“秀恩爱”很可怕，但我还是忍不住也会这么做。我喜欢变得深情，除非我身处一个对待同性恋行为不那么友好的地方，否则我经常忘记周围的环境。我并不总是这样。在我的成长过程中，表现明显的浪漫在我的家庭中并不被接受。我们以自己的方式深情相待，我们中的很多人都有伴侣，但这其中包含着一种隐私感和自我意识。我不会和家人一起看电视时，在沙发上趴在男朋友或女朋友身上。我不会在厨房里随便亲吻他们的脸颊。gruesome [ˈɡruːsəm]: a. 令人厌恶的；恐怖的；可怕的e.g. I saw you getting a little green in there. Those movies are gruesome. (Mad Men)刚刚看到你脸色有些发青。那些教学影片令人毛骨悚然。（《广告狂人》）affectionate [əˈfekʃənət]: a. 充满深情的；表示关爱的e.g. Hes so affectionate. Oh, he does me more good than all my tranquilizers. (Hope Gap)他超热情的，他可比我那些镇定剂更管用。（《希望沟壑》）sprawl [sprɔːl]: v. 蔓延；伸开四肢坐(或躺)；杂乱无序地拓展e.g. Poetry always spoils everything that was sprawled across the ocean. (The Durrells)诗歌总是糟蹋所有的东西，被蔓延开，穿过海洋。（《德雷尔一家》）

我的建议是，你可以和那些MT的学生学习下：不要相信自己。承认自己的缺陷并寻找一种能够接受并容忍它的办法。更准确地说，承认并接受”你们”的缺陷：那个意志力不够坚定的“你”以及那个足够坚定但懒于改变的“你”。最好的办法是想象你在试图改变另外一个人。

豆瓣评分 8.5

——《镜子里的陌生人》 罗伯特•莱文

Sometimes I wonder whether our widespread distaste for PDA is connected to the general push-back against romantic love recently. Situationships are becoming the norm. People are finally extolling the importance of platonic love. Relationships just aren’t very cool at the moment, so neither is PDA.有时我想知道，我们对“秀恩爱”普遍厌恶是否与最近对浪漫爱情的抵制有关。状态恋情正成为常态。人们终于愿意赞美柏拉图式爱情，认可它的重要性。关系这种东西现在不是很受欢迎，PDA也不是。distaste [dɪsˈteɪst]: n./v. 不喜欢；反感；厌恶e.g. Because, clearly hes a night person who loves red wine, has a sensible distaste for humanity, and would totally get my poetry. (Hot in Cleveland)因为他很明显是个喜欢红酒的夜猫子，非常明智地讨厌其他人类，而且非常理解我的诗歌。（《燃情克利夫兰》）situationship: n. 状态恋情（男女之间的关系比友谊更进一步，比浪漫恋情又有所欠缺的现象）；朋友之上，恋人未满extol [ɪkˈstoʊl]: v. 歌颂；颂扬；称赞e.g. Ms. Davis, I assume in your therapy session that Mr. Dawson extolled his parenting ability. (I Am Sam)戴维斯小姐，在心理咨商时道森先生应该自夸是个好父亲吧。（《我是山姆》）platonic [pləˈtɑːnɪk]: a. 柏拉图的，柏拉图哲学的；理论上的，空谈的；无害的e.g. That was a platonic friend thing. (How I Met Your Mother)这纯粹是朋友之间该做的。（《老爸老妈的浪漫史》）platonic love [pləˈtɑːnɪk lʌv]: n. 柏拉图式的爱情；精神恋爱

And they would always kiss each other in greeting, or pull the other one close. They looked so in love. And I remember feeling good around them. Like: that’s what love is supposed to look like. That’s what love is supposed to feel like. There was nothing possessive or grotesque about the way he’d sling his arm around her, without thinking. Or the way she’d push his hair back. There was something quietly anti-violent about it. Like marriage didn’t have to be a series of eye-rolls and underhanded comments and tiny resentments. It could be another thing entirely.他们总是亲吻对方以示问候，或者把对方拉到身边。他们看起来很相爱。我记得和他们在一起让人感觉很好。类似于这就是爱情应该有的样子。这就是爱应该给人带来的感觉。他不假思索地搂着她的方式并没有流露什么占有欲或怪异之处。或者她把他的头发向后捋的方式，有一些悄悄反暴力的成分在里面。婚姻不必是一系列的翻白眼、卑鄙的言辞和鸡毛蒜皮的怨恨。他们向我们证明，婚姻可能完全是另一回事。possessive [pəˈzesɪv]: a. 占有欲强的；表示所属关系的；所有格的e.g. Im not possessive. You can be with anyone you want. (Mad Men)我不是个占有欲很强的人。你想和谁在一起都可以。（《广告狂人》）grotesque [ɡroʊˈtesk]: a./n. 怪诞的；荒唐的；丑陋奇异的；奇形怪状的；丑陋的人；奇异艺术风格e.g. Check out this circus-looking fella. Hes grotesque. (Channel Zero)看看这个像是从马戏团里出来的伙计。他很古怪。（《零异频道》）resentment [rɪˈzentmənt]: n. 愤恨；怨恨e.g. Beneath the exterior, there are cracks, resentments, alliances that threaten the very foundation of our lives. (My Sisters Keeper)平和的表象下潜藏着裂痕、怨恨等负面情绪，动摇着我们生活的基本。（《姐姐的守护者》）

I know that love doesn’t always look like two people eating each other’s faces off. Sometimes it looks like fixing the other person’s shelves, or helping them plant something in the garden, or saying the right words at the right time. Sometimes it’s giving the other person space, or spending hours preparing dinner. For me it can be all of those things. But I also love kissing. That’s not going to change.我知道，爱情并不总是看起来像两个人准备咬下对方的脸。有时，它看起来会像是在修理对方的架子，或者帮助他们在花园里种一些东西，或者在对的时间说对的话。有时是给对方空间，或者花几个小时准备晚餐。对我来说，爱情可以是所有这些东西。但我也喜欢接吻。这不会改变。eat off [iːt ɔːf]: v. 吃掉；腐蚀e.g. Oh, look at him. Eating off her plate, the mooch. You just know hes not paying for lunch. (Will & Grace)看那个人，吃着她盘子里的东西，你就知道午餐肯定不是他买单。（《威尔和格蕾丝》）fix [fɪks]: v. 修理；安装；固定；决定，确定e.g. Gold. You fixed me. Now fix him. It will take you seconds and cost you nothing. (Once Upon a Time)戈登，你救了我，也救救他吧。只需短短几秒钟，也不会有损失。（《童话镇》）at the right time [æt ðə raɪt taɪm]: 在对的时间；在恰当的时间e.g. So you think maybe we found each other at the right time? (Mom)所以我们是不是在合适的时间遇见了彼此？（《极品老妈》）